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I heard that from a guy on the internet: that’s his life’s aim. Significantly, his orientation comes from a religious source, though he does not display overt religiosity. Michael Malice. Let’s just put his name here because I will forget. It was on a Lex Fridman podcast.

I find the greatest pleasure in watching another person’s life transformed, as mine was. Hearing Chris Williamson’s sincere gratitude to Jordan Peterson, for instance, made my eyes well up with tears. Chris has a new life, and the world is better for it. Not because he has a podcast, but because he lives a life as a better man—to the benefit of everyone he interacts with.

Maybe this is the clue. What is my heart’s desire? What is my mission, my passion?

Quite clearly, it is dealing with people retail, one at a time. That is the direct instruction of the system that gave me a new life: we help each other one-on-one.

Things ordinary people are impressed by fall into the categories of things that are held together by simple physics (like stones or wood), or by natural growth (figs, vines, olives …). Those admired by more advanced minds are held together by a living soul (flocks of sheep, herds of cows). Still more sophisticated people admire what is guided by a rational mind—not the universal mind, but one admired for its technical knowledge, or for some other skill—or just because it happens to own a lot of slaves.

But those who revere that other mind—the one we all share, as humans and as citizens—aren’t interested in other things. Their focus is on the state of their own minds—to avoid all selfishness and illogic, and to work with others to achieve that goal.

Meditations 6.19

Memories of Dan Sullivan’s formulation of this concept. He groups people into four categories:

• They think about things. “Look at my car!” They want to improve their lives by better possessions. Hedonic treadmill.
• They think about people. “The Kardashians . . . .” I’m not sure of the desire here. Escapism? All I know is it inevitably leads to envy in me.
• They think about ideas. E.g., professors arguing about ideas, or the endless yammer on the internet about politics. Nothing changes in my life if I just intellectualize about externals. “Look how smart I am.”
• They think about their thinking. Their own ideas (not external ideas) and rigorous attention to the pursuit of truth is what matters. they want to become better thinkers. This is where I want to be.

Marcus Aurelius uses a similar classification here.

If you want to change the world, you’d better damn well have an extremely clear view of reality.

If you’re making decisions based on a false view of reality you will do things that make matters worse, not better.

What are the things that created the goodness all around you right now? Do you really understand why you live the life you have now? Understand history. Really understand it.

If you live a life of self-deceit and ignorance, you will inevitably harm yourself.

Writ large, the same is true for society. If you lie to yourself and are ignorant, you will harm your community while loudly proclaiming “But I am helping!”

Your life can go to shit incredibly fast—in a moment of ignorance or self-deceit. A society can go to shit in a few years—and stay there for centuries.

This is probably as close to a political statement as I am willing to get.

But personally living the truth of this idea? I strive daily for it. Don’t fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool, as Richard Feynman said.

Resisting the visible folly? That, too. Only that will take a bit of courage.

Do not start your sentences with “so”.

It is a lazy affectation. Stop it.

(Written while listening to a podcast. The person being interviewed answers far too many questions with “so” as the first word when he opens his mouth.)

I’m bailing out on the podcast. This bugs the hell out of me.

Also. Someone who is smart because he wrote a book is not as smart as someone who lived a life first then wrote a book.

This guy just wrote a book.

I just had a conversation with someone about a decision made a few months ago. I was present for the decision made, and now I hear that the decision was wrong.

Never mind that the option rejected then was rejected because it was financially out of bounds. (Buying a vehicle with or without 4×4. “Without” won because of cost.)

Now it’s a bad decision because of transitory events. And by transitory I mean “gone in half a day” weather conditions where 4×4 might or might not be useful.

Self-recrimination is easy to see in others and how they process memories of past decisions. It’s not always easy to see in myself.

Self-recrimination is poison.

Make a decision. Don’t look back. If you need to make a new decision later, make it then. New circumstances, new facts — these can mean a different course of action.

I’ve always loved saying, when making a hard decision, “We will drive off that bridge when we get to it.” It conveys the doom feeling that I get when I’m afraid I made a bad choice, and the blithe, oblivious cheeriness of just getting on with it.

Because in reality our decisions almost never result in driving off the bridge, metaphorically speaking. It is a false fear that holds us back. It is a false fear that leads us to bitter memories of the past and the “if only . . . “ self-flogging that I, at least, am prone to.

I completely fell off the rails with the Event.

What I realized later (much later) is that even in the chaos I could get clarity and value from the discipline.

So. This specific work marathon? Failed. I did not hit any of my objectives, whether baseline or stretch. Those objectives depended on the world remaining stable, which it didn’t.

Meta? A win. Work cycles and a disciplined approach to the day can work even in an unstable world, with ill-defined objectives, confusion, and turmoil.

Meta? A reminder to not expect the world to remain stable. And . . . plan for instability.

I am reminded of Rudyard Kipling and “If”.

This means doubling down on using the Work Cycles, no matter what the circumstances.

I found that in the turmoil I am spinning a lot. What is happening? What to do? Keep the reins on my emotions and especially the doomsday mentality—that’s essential. Accept possible black pill outcomes but think and act with white pill optimism.

Work cycles help. Chunked down attention. Well-defined objectives. Small bursts of energy realistically scaled to what is possible.

I have to ask them about the app and how to reset start times midstream. Maybe make a Loom video to show them what I mean. I would rather use the app than the Google Sheet.

Maybe the answer is just suck it up and run a parallel computer or second monitor with the Google Sheet always up.

The Work Gym itself? I’m of two minds. I like the fact that I put my head down and work until the two minute warning. The timer on my computer beeps but I’m constantly checking to see how much time is left. (It’s just a pomodoro timer). “Work and don’t think until you hear a voice” is better for me.

But the social aspect of it? I can’t say whether being in a giant Zoom room with others is helping or not. These people are fellow travelers in some way but there is no real way to connect.

So pay attention and remember life is short.

Jordan Peterson in Chris Williamson’s Modern Wisdom episode 307.

Pay attention is notice discomfort and examine it deeply. Pay attention to the underlying axioms. Question them.

The deeper you look the more fundamental the cause and change there creates even more uncertainty. So it’s easier to shy away and procrastinate.

This is frightening but you are tougher than you think.

49a. It’s unfortunate that this has happened.

No. It’s fortunate that this has happened and I’ve remained unharmed by it—not shattered by the present or frightened of the future. It could have happened to anyone. But not everyone could have remained unharmed by it. Why treat the one as a misfortune rather than the other as fortunate? Can you really call something a misfortune that doesn’t violate human nature? Or do you think something that’s not against nature’s will can violate it? But you know what its will is. Does what’s happened keep you from acting with justice, generosity, self-control, sanity, prudence, honesty, humility, straightforwardness, and all the other qualities that allow a person’s nature to fulfill itself?

So remember this principle when something threatens to cause you pain: the thing itself was no misfortune at all; to endure it and prevail is great good fortune.

Meditations 4:49a

I’m living this right now with my Interesting Event. I won’t give details on the event because it is in mid-stream.

But! The Interesting Event is not taking me to hell.

I had a casual convo with the neighbors yesterday. A casual comment about inertia went by. The inertia of having children, a mortgage, etc. Baggage.

I feel this intensely. I want to move to a different place. No forward momentum after a brief trip to Texas.

(Why do I want to move? Ask yourself this!)

I try to do different things with my business. Inertia holds me back.

(Why do I want to do different things? Ask yourself this?)

The house is full of clutter and bullshit. Something holds me back from a wholesale disposal-fest.

(Well, at least I know the answer to this. The items in the house over which I have sole control are vanishingly small. I have to consider the feelings of others when deciding whether to trash this or that.)

(But there is an answer to this, too.)

I have deliberately chosen a hard path for 75 days: the 75 Hard challenge, suggested by my daughter.

Most of the things on the list are things I’m doing now. The difference is the rigor imposed by having a binary question to ask myself.

Did I or did I not drink a gallon of water today? (Previous aim: “drink a lot”).

Did I read 10 pages of a nonfiction book? (Previous aim: read every morning, which I am doing with the Stoics).

Binary is truth.

One target is a bit daunting: two forty-five minute workouts a day. I am on a three day a week gym schedule (Starting Strength) so this is a big change to life.

But really. What’s important to me? Physical health or . . . what? Given a “pick A or B” when A is physical health, there is no universe in which B is a good idea. (A few hypothetical situations to the contrary — like the soldier who jumps on a grenade to save his buddies. That’s not my life and those are not, realistically, going to be presented to me.)

Another is daunting in a different way: take a picture of yourself daily. I hate taking pictures of myself. When I see a picture of myself my reaction is not healthy: that person a stranger to me, and not physically appealing. I do not accept or like my physical appearance.