The urge to Do. I have it. And I have it for the weirdest reason: because it’s today, and today will never be here again. It’s not the persistence of time, it’s the ephemeralness (word failure) of time.
I’ve bought into the belief. I believed it is a true idea and therefore I Must Do. (Do what? Don’t know. But must do something).
Then, I will judge myself on the quality of what I did. And believe that I could have Done More. And feel bad.
How about not? How about I think a different thought? Like the thought that allows me to sleep until 11 am? What difference would that make? Does a difference matter?
I’m operating on embedded beliefs. I just saw one today, accidentally, and I don’t think it is particularly healthy.
Today is the last day in Milan. I will meet someone in a while. We will talk business. That’s a decision that yesterday me made. Otherwise, I am free. All I really want to do is sit outside in the sun (it’s a nice day) at an ordinary cafe.