I am feeling weak when I start to fantasize about things that are beyond my control and require assistance from the supernatural to achieve.
I do that a lot. I did it this morning on the dawn patrol. When I feel powerless and aggrieved I lapse into spinning fantastic yarns in my head about things that could only happen in fiction. Harry Potter-level fiction.
It’s because I’m feeling weak and inadequate. That’s when I imagine that I am endowed with magical powers. That’s when I feel righteous and I am the only person who can Right This Wrong.
Funny. As soon as I had that realization this morning and realized this was all made-up fantasy (as compared to real fantasy I guess!) my brain cleared and the rest of the walk was peaceful.
Let’s go back to square one, and remember Bob’s advice: stop talking to yourself and start talking to God.
I am the same inadequate, powerless person I am mid-fantasy. I always will be. And the fantasy I create in my mind always makes me feel worse. Why is that? Why do I feel unhappy in my imagined triumphs accomplished effortlessly by wielding unimaginable personal power?
At least have some inner peace, eh? Drop the fantasy. Maybe that inner peace will be a resource that I will be grateful to have cultivated at some future date.
Ask not to whom the ambulance speeds. It speeds to thee.