Cause and effect. Pattern recognition.
If I say to myself “I am going to do X” but I don’t do X, I feel bad.
If I attempt and fail, I’m not so sad. Or I’m sad in a better way. (Plus I gathered useful data from failing).
It’s intent and desire without any action that kills me.
The lazy solution: Never set goals, large or small. Do random, reactive shit instead. Human behavior propelled by Brownian motion.
Fuck that.
Constructive solutions:
- Aim low. Set extremely modest goals.
- Fewer goals. Set the goal of doing X, but don’t put too many goals on my plate at a time.
- Do X, no matter what. Fierce concentration and determination and self-discipline.
- Don’t be self-critical. Set the goal to do X, and if I don’t do X, FFS don’t kick myself in the fucking ass about it.
And the winner is . . . all of the above.
Aim low. “Do one push-up” instead of “go to the gym for two hours and be a Barbell God.”
Keep the task list short. Say no to more stuff.
Continue to be fierce, self-reliant, self-disciplined, focused. If it is an ancient virtue, treasure and nurture it. Build those mental muscles.
And don’t have self-critical opinions. Life is all a giant experiment, N = 1. I am the mad scientist and the lab rat. My mentors (Seneca and Marcus Aurelius) will guide me and remind me. Consult with them frequently.