Reality Laughs

A lot of people talk about this. In A New Pair of Glasses somewhere he talks about turning your life over to God (and reaping the rewards of that decision) or not turning your life over to God (and reaping the rewards of that decision). There was a passage in one of the Jordan Peterson books I read recently along the same line. More than a passage. It’s the lengthy discussions of the meaning of sacrifice that he engages in. The Bible talks about sowing and reaping.

And today came a video from Andy Frisella on this point. Clearly stated, as usual.

It’s delayed gratification.

Those are dead words. Andy Frisella says it better: the action you do today determines what you get back in 90 days.

Or, put in words of sacrifice, the day you give up today you will receive back, 90 days from now.

The question is what you receive. Abundance? Yes, if you did the footwork today that creates abundance in the future.

I have been doing twice-daily workouts since May 1. That seed I planted on May 1. What does my August 1 self look like as a result of my May 1 decision? How happy am I today that I have been exercising to a sweat, twice a day, for all of that time?

Pretty damn happy.

Keep Andy Frisella’s simpler version in mind: 90 days.

My judgment of my own actions. That’s the killer. Listen to that voice, and learn.

In the 75 Hard program, the “rules” are adaptable. You define the criteria, and you stick to them. Example: one of the things you do for 75 days is “follow a diet.” And . . . no cheat meals. You define the diet. You define cheating.

In a recent podcast, the creator of the 75 Hard program (Andy Frisella) discussed this with his guest (Ben Newman). They noted that many people have questions about what will meet (or not) the requirements for the program.

“If you have to ask the question, the answer is no.” That was the statement from them. I love it.

The 75 Hard battle is entirely between your ears, and if you’re trying to cut corners with yourself at the front end, you have already lost the war.

You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right.

Romans 14:22 NLT

The KJV version is simultaneously a bit more archaic and obscure, yet crystal clear:

Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth. Romans 14:22 KJV

If you are condemning yourself for what you allow yourself to think or do, you’re going to have a hard time.

I came across the verse while doing my 10 pages of reading for 75 Hard this morning.

There’s a little verse in the Book which says: “Blessed is he who condemned not himself in that which he allowed.” What does that mean? I believe it means that if you can do a thing without condemning yourself, it’s not so bad. But if you condemn yourself for it, you jolly well better quit or it’ll kill you.

A New Pair of Glasses, page 94.

And once you get on The Path, the number of things you can do without condemning yourself becomes smaller. The author continues:

Personally, I could do many things five years ago that today I cannot do. And so it depends on where we are as to what we can do, and what we have to get rid of. And it’s a continuous process because the higher we go the more we have to discard, and the more we discard the freer we become. It’s amazing.

A New Pair of Glasses, page 94.

Don’t do anything that would make you hate yourself. Don’t do anything that you know — or even dimly and subconsciously feel — is not aligned with who you are or want to be.

This may be the same idea as that barbarically-worded verse “If thine eye offend thee, pluck it out.” Root out all thoughts and behaviors that make you feel bad about yourself. One at a time. Deal with the obvious stuff first; more will bubble up later, and you will deal with it later.

Even a simple self-questioning should be enough of a tug on the reins to make you pay attention.

If you are comfortable with what you’re doing, keep doing it. (I can tell you from experience that what you are comfortable with will change in time.) But if you have even the slightest twinge of doubt, cut it out.

Get on The Path. Stay on The Path.

I’m at the Benz dealership, waiting for them to complete my A service. I’m close to where I lived 30 years ago, so I go for a run in the old neighborhood.

The years have not been kind to this part of the city. The area was not good then. If anything, the streets are a bit dirtier, the buildings a bit more worn. It’s the kind of place where, 30 years ago, it wouldn’t be unusual for me to hear gunshots late at night.

I ran by the old apartment building I lived in. The donut shop on the corner where, every morning, I would walk to for a cup of coffee and a couple of donuts, just to simulate the existence of a pattern in my life.

Thirty+ years of focus. Thirty+ years of not drinking. Thirty+ years of hard work to the best of my ability: professional, personal, and spiritual.

And here I am. Getting an expensive car serviced on time, as recommended. Hoping they don’t bring my car down while I am weeping because I can’t believe the difference between then and now.

Happy, thriving family. Peace of mind much of the time. An old guy who can peel off a 4 mile run anytime he feels like it without thinking twice. Who have I become?

The Promises.

They came true for me. They will come true for you.

Stay on The Path.

What do you know about yourself? You are, on the one hand, the most complex thing in the entire universe, and on the others, someone who can’t even set the clock on your microwave. Don’t overestimate your self-knowledge.

12 Rules for Life, page 109.

Anytime I’m feeling tired and discouraged I remember the excerpts from memoirs about the Korean War. The men who were pushed back almost to the sea — how they persevered, in the bitter winter. The Battle of the Chosin Reservoir. Hackworth.

I can do this, one step at a time. One day at a time.

Other times, I think of other heroes of mine. People I will never meet, people I have met. Ordinary men, putting their heads down and getting it done, quietly and without fanfare.

I too can do this. God willing, I will bear witness with fortitude and dignity. I will be there when they need me, lending a hand.

• I have something of value to share.
• The person I want to share with is important to me.

The fact that I have something of value to share—that’s a stunning thought that didn’t occur to me until the drive to work today.

Why the self-discounting? Why the self-depreciation (and not self-deprecation in a good way, conducive to the humility that leads to integrity)?

You learn when you learn.

You might start by not thinking—or, more accurately, but less trenchantly, by refusing to subjugate your faith to your current rationality and it’s narrowness of view. This doesn’t mean “make yourself stupid.” It means the opposite. It means instead that you must quit manoeuvring and calculating and conniving and scheming and enforcing and demanding and avoiding and ignoring and punishing. It means you must place your old strategies aside. It means, instead, that you must pay attention, as you have never paid attention before.

12 Rules for Life, pp. 107-108. Emphasis in original.

It brings to mind the Tony Efrati episode. How, if he has a target and is planning an attack, he just looks at it. Really looks.

I was thinking . . . .

This is usually bad 🙃 but I was doing it anyway.

The topic: how does someone start from zero? Minimal skills, no idea how to get a first customer, etc. How do you start?

I imagined someone with minimal web dev skills, for example. Maybe they like it, maybe they don’t. The point is, it’s uncharted territory so how the hell would you know? What would this person do?

Best thought I had: go on Upwork and just look. Use Jordan Peterson’s advice, especially how he tells you to clean your room. First, just open a drawer and look at it. Don’t do anything, just look.

I did this long ago, pre-internet. I opened the newspaper and looked at jobs. Eventually I worked up the courage to send a resume. Then another. And another. And soon enough I had a job.

Back to my mythical person. I would say “just look at Upwork.” Or some other site.

Eventually there is something that my mythical person could do. I would tell this person to take on one job. No more. Just one. Get it done. get paid.

Only then, pick up the next job.

Now for me. I have a huge backlog of work. Let’s apply the sequential attack. One at a time. It would work. Don’t take on anything more until the backlog is gone.

The point is to not get overloaded.

I planned the day. Did what I bargained with myself to do. Got done early so I took a catnap instead of driving myself mercilessly forward. Now I’m eating lunch at the place I decided ahead of time to eat.

This follows the Rule 4 recommendations from 12 Rules for Life. It follows the Goggins admonition to not take a rest day when your whiny poopypants voice tells you to, but take your rest day when scheduled.

Feels good.

EDIT: fucked around and didn’t get done until 11:30 pm. I have a long way to go.

Rule 4 is today’s reading:

Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.

12 Rules for Life, page 84

I read this chapter for the first time only a few weeks ago. Rereading it . . . well, there are so many actionable suggestions there! There are ways to get on The Path. Or to return to The Path when you’ve detoured into the weeds.

Somehow, I have set up the day more or less in line with his suggestions.

I have defined a task to accomplish today. It’s maybe not as small as he would suggest, but it’s feasible, to my best guess. This is aligned with the inner negotiation: what is there to do that I can — and will — do? Aim small. my life will be measurably better when it’s done.

My personal, specific Monday will be better by getting this one thing done today, on Sunday.

I have added rewards into my day. Explicit breaks in the day to go do something. I have not committed myself to a long, hard, joyless slog.

Let’s see how it works!

Aim small. You don’t want to shoulder too much to begin with given your limited talents, tendency to deceive, burden of resentment, and ability to shirk responsibility. Thus, you set the following goal: by the end of the day, I want my life to be a tiny bit better than they were this morning. Then you ask yourself, “What could I do, that would accomplish that, and what small thing would I like as a reward? Then you do what you have decided to do, even if you do it badly. Then you give yourself that damn coffee, in triumph. Maybe you feel a bit stupid about it, but you do it anyway. And you do the same thing tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. And, with each day, your baseline of comparison gets a little higher, and that’s magic. That’s compound interest. Do that for three years, and your life will be entirely different. Now you’re aiming for something higher. Now you’re aiming for something higher. Now you’re wishing upon a star. Now the beam is disappearing from your eye, and you’re learning to see. And what you aim at determines what you see. That’s worth repeating. What you aim at determines what you see.

12 Rules for Life, pp. 95-95. Emphasis in original.

Today:

• Exercise for approx an hour. 45 minutes is the aim but it always goes a little longer.
• Shower and dress.
• Do the work laid out. This phase is simple: converting edits on a paper draft into their equivalent in Word.
• Stop. Go get lunch. It’s going to be that pizza place next to the coffee joint. I will patronize both and make my taste buds happy.
• Return. Print the new draft, go through one last edit on paper. Be ruthlessly careful in editing this so anyone (even me) could follow the markup and make the edits in Word without thinking. Output: monkey work. I’m a monkey and I will appreciate not having to think.
• Gym. Go lift. Do the regular things but for the next several visits, start to learn about the squat and doing it right. Later I will need out on other lifts. For now, back to basics. Bodyweight, kettlebell, etc. Don’t worry about barbell, don’t worry about weight. I only care about knowing how to do a squat well. Heavy is later.
• Back to the computer. Paper edits to Word. Monkey mind in action. Final version done.
• Output: PDF emailed.
• Ahh. Now here is the question. What’s my reward when shipping the PDF? I was going to say Mocha Frappuccino but it will be late in the day so no caffeine for me. Hmm. I will let the brain make suggestions. Maybe a burrito from the list of places I saw yesterday.

That’s my plan. It’s laid out in Cal Newport-style time blocks. Let’s do it.