Reality Laughs

To write in concrete terms about what I’m actually doing in real life.

I fear that I’m launching in a dumb direction. dumb meaning it takes me away from where I want to go.

The usual shower thought arose this morning, unbidden. I am actively doing strategic planning for my business.

The planning is designed to build and grow the business with a definite aim: open up time for me to do one of the essential business functions that (a) I have a special talent for, and (b) I actually love doing.

I will, if I proceed down this path, be doing many things I don’t want to do. And in fact a foreshadowing occurred yesterday at the end of the business day. I got a question from an employee: “I know this process is in place for a damned good reason, but please let me ignore the process.”

(General, handwaving explanation here: I want nothing less than absolute excellence. This process achieves absolute excellence in a customer-facing transaction but requires us to absorb a bit of complexity in order to deliver bulletproof confidence to the customer. The request corrodes our confidence—and the customer’s confidence—in the completion of the task.)

Here is the shower thought: why do all of the work to create time in my life to do what I want to do? Why not just do it?

I am going to put myself in the firing line of 10,000 whiny requests for “Can I be lazy, boss?” No. 10,000 times no.

Answer. I have people relying on me. Employees. Including this employee who wants to undercut the process. Customers. I’m building the strategic plan to serve them, not me.

Why? Two reasons. One good, one bad. The good reason is the extreme self-satisfaction of doing Deeply Competent Work. The bad reason is money. I want money.

That’s about as specific as I will get here. Anything more will reveal my business, location, etc. And will identify people (employees and customers) too. They didn’t sign up for that.

I need an alt where I can rant. And a person IRL I can talk to.

From the bird place.

You got to entertain the dumb ideas. Otherwise they’ll never invite their smart friends over.

https://twitter.com/temujin9/status/1257797596845879296?s=21&t=uUMgzYoXtzZQcCaDlmHk3w

It’s a feeling I have. Frequently. Even now. I’m not doing enough. I’m not moving fast enough with what I’m doing. I should be doing more. I’m not smart enough and I should learn more. I’m not like able enough, and I should figure out how to change that.

Note that there are no upper bounds to these feelings. I could put on my running shoes, go outside, and run nonstop to Arizona at 40 mph. Guaranteed my head would say I should have stretched for 45 mph.

Single steps, one at a time.

Baby steps, tiny increments.

In reality these are the only actions I can take. I can only do one thing at a time. I can only make extremely modest progress in the next 10 seconds.

These are features of being human. I cannot change this.

Note: what can happen in 10 seconds and will have monumental impact?

An idea. A decision.

This dichotomy is where my distress comes from. In 1989 I made a single, pivotal decision. Every day since then has been slow, incremental progress on that decision.

Make the decision. Change the mindset. Instantly, you’re a new man.

But accept the physical limits of what will happen today, the day that you’re in right now. The me of today knows more than the me of 1989. The me of today is capable of more than the me of 1989. This is precisely because I (mostly) gave 100% of whatever I had going for me, in the day I was in. Some days I was running at 92% efficiency. Some days I was a depressed slug running at 4%. On both days, I gave 100% of 92% and 100% of 4%. Manifestation can take decades, and I am proof of that.

What you have is Enough. Just do what you can, today. It is Enough.

Baby steps are the only steps.

Now I know why Richard Feynman was right. It is the Principle of Explosion. Let a Twitter stranger explain it to me:

one of the first things you learn when you start writing mathematical proofs is the principle of explosion: from a single false premise you can derive any conclusion, true or false. interesting to reflect on how this has shaped my thinking and orientation towards truth

https://twitter.com/qiaochuyuan/status/1527334796900245504?s=21&t=WRjsggNP7Xr2YJk02b8E6g

One undiscovered lie. That’s all it takes. From that seed you can justify anything you want.

The perceptive Twitter stranger explains the end result:

i do think though that the principle of explosion correctly points towards the consequences of holding a false belief sufficiently rigidly and globally. if there’s a thing you’ve decided is always good or always bad, and you’re committed to ignoring exceptions…

https://twitter.com/qiaochuyuan/status/1527336093216956449?s=21&t=WRjsggNP7Xr2YJk02b8E6g

…then the principle of explosion suggests, correctly imo, that there’s no upper limit to how insane your beliefs or your behavior can get, starting from that false, rigid, global premise. the more universally and rigidly you apply your pet falsehood the worse things get

https://twitter.com/qiaochuyuan/status/1527336095179935749?s=21&t=WRjsggNP7Xr2YJk02b8E6g

It’s a good thread. I think it’s hard sometimes to spot a lie you’re telling yourself in the present moment. Yes, there are tells. There is cringe, for instance, or intense desire. Both are emotions signaling danger. But they are routinely overridden by impulse. We want the end state.

It’s like certain legal opinions I have seen, where a desire to justify an end result in a transaction will contain, for the careful reader, a paragraph that can only be interpreted as “and then a moment of magic occurs.”

Everything before and after that paragraph sounds sober and sane. Even your grandmother would understand the logic. But that one pivot on a moment of magic takes the argument to a funhouse mirror conclusion.

But it’s easier to look backwards from an unexpected and crazy conclusion (you find yourself saying, in a whiny voice, “why did this happen to me?”) and lie you told yourself. If you’re rigorously self-honest.

Not easy. Easier.

Yeah. Really. That’s the secret they don’t teach you in school.

Just do stuff.

The secret to staying on The Path is . . . making your own path.

Yes, I need a bit of an energy boost. But mostly I need a Reason. I am sitting at a small table outside Starbucks, with a Purpose: drink coffee.

Maybe someday I will find a way to just sit and watch the parade. For no reason, with no purpose. Just sit.

Postscript: that was terrible coffee, Starbucks.

A couple of things happened today to make me go “Yay!” And a thing happened that could trigger a doomloop about the future if I let it. all of this at work.

Take the Yay. Focus on what you want more of.

The things I do that make me cringe . . . are revelations of coping mechanisms, self-protection behavior.

Protection from what?

Why did I burn my entire day yesterday, fucking around on the internet ‘n such, just to work frantically until midnight to ship an OK product that was behind schedule?

Uncover, discover, discard.

From @visakanv:

Often have to remind people:

no one is coming to give you the life you want

no one is secretly watching you closely and then throw you a surprise party with that outcome you dream about

you have to actively act every day to make your dream a reality

https://twitter.com/visakanv/status/1525760456769478656?s=21&t=e6JfRAd-Qh0yUQmF-fENeQ

It’s Graham’s Killhouse Rules, for regular people.

1. NOBODY IS COMING TO SAVE YOU. Whether an event lasts a few seconds, a few hours, or even a few days – you have to work as though nobody is coming to save you.
2. You are your savior, so start working because EVERYTHING IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. You are your security, you are your medic, you are your rescuer.
3. You are your own best resource to SAVE WHO NEEDS TO BE SAVED. Nobody wants to save your life more than you, so set yourself up for success by having the simple tools and knowledge to do so: do what you can with what you have. Recognize that nobody is in a better position to start saving your life than you.
4. Sometimes saving lives means you have to KILL WHO NEEDS TO BE KILLED. It has been almost 15 years since I first wrote “the more effective you are at taking a life, the more successful you’ll be at saving one” and nothing in the intervening time has changed my mind. Be swift, be decisive, be final.
5. Mostly, ALWAYS BE WORKING. There is always something you can be doing to improve your position. Always. Because nobody is coming to save you.

Making a great product takes about 10x as much effort and energy as creating a mediocre product.

Making a fantastic product takes about 100x as much effort and energy.

You can tell instantly when you’re using a fantastic product. Everything about it hits your subconscious.

https://twitter.com/austen/status/1525708755869917184?s=21&t=e6JfRAd-Qh0yUQmF-fENeQ

100x. LFG.