Heat wave here. Lunchtime walks would be brutal. But I will do two workouts today. I will complete the challenge.
Up at 5:30 a.m., feed the dog, inescapable biological imperatives, and out the door at 5:42 a.m.
Walk.
I’m too busy. I should be running to the grocery store to get things I forgot last night. My first call is at 8 a.m. I have so many things to do today. I think of all of them, an avalanche.
I feel rushed. Agitated by all the tasks of today, as if they must all be done now. Right now.
Despair. “Do not do things that make you hate yourself” as Jordan Peterson said in a short video I watched a couple of days ago. I can’t win. I hate myself for walking. I hate myself for not doing All The Things Right Now. And I would hate myself for not walking, for missing the window of time available now, and forcing a lunchtime walk in 90 degree heat.
Walk. Before I know it there are 8 minutes to go on my 45 minute walk. This is doable. I will be OK today.
Living my life . . . don’t drive a car using only the rear view mirror and binoculars. Do the now tasks now. The later tasks will be done later. Or not.
The lesson: just walk.
Also interesting. I planned to wake up at 5:00 a.m., not 5:30 a.m. I almost quit while I was still in bed.
But. I. Didn’t. Quit.
Finally, from Meditations:
Concentrate every minute like a Roman—like a man—on doing what’s in front of you with precise and genuine seriousness, tenderly, willingly, with justice. And on freeing yourself from all other distractions. Yes, you can—if you do everything as if it were the last thing you were doing in your life, and stop being aimless, stop letting your emotions override what your mind tells you, stop being hypocritical, self-centered, irritable. You see how few things you have to do to live a satisfying and reverent life? If you can manage this, that’s all even the gods can ask of you.
Meditations 2.5