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Work is overwhelming, disappointing, a relentless torrent of uninspiring opportunities to show my inadequacy.

No. Be stronger. Keep hammering, one small task at a time.

My body is sore. Knees hurt and quads are tender from running.

No. Be stronger. Keep hammering, one daily run at a time.

These are the voices of weakness. Reject them. Ignore them. Crush them.

There is time to retool your business. You’re doing that right now. Plant the seeds and let them grow.

There is time for your body to adapt. Keep running at this level for a few more months. You’ll see.

Discipline. Determination. Patience. And a simple answer to weakness: NO.

The lesson from the Pentathlon and using the Lights tool.

The answer is simple: yes or no.

Did I stay on task? Yes or no. There is no “Guilty with an explanation.”

Did I run the full distance? Yes or no.

The only person who knows the truth is me. The only person who asks and answers the question is me. The only person who knows I’m a liar if I lie — is me. The only person who knows I am a weasel if I give a weasely excuse — is me. The only person who will grow stronger when I tell myself the truth — is me.

Rigorous self-honesty.

Ask myself yes or no questions.

Give myself yes or no answers.

That’s how to do it.

From Discipline Equals Freedom, the “Good” chapter:

Accept reality, but focus on the solution. Take that issue, take that setback, take that problem, and turn it into something good.

Life doesn’t stop. There is no finish line, so no end state for any event. Each action is the end of something and the beginning of something else.

That’s why it’s important to not look on a seeming setback as awful and bewail the fact. It’s just an event. Investing an opinion in the event is a waste of time at best, or damaging at worst. Opinions about the past? Past events are out of your control, so don’t pay them any mind.

Except, pay attention to them as they are right now. The present is good. Always good. And the present facts are what you have to work with.

Your opinions and thoughts are the only thing you can control, so why not be default positive? Default optimistic? Default constructive?

Using that attitude means you don’t wallow in regret or bitterness about past events. Negative opinions about things out of your control are crowded out.

Using that attitude means you focus on improvement and achieving your goals right now, using what you have on hand, not what you wish you had.

Using that attitude is contagious to those around you. Not everyone defaults forward. But most people default to follow and mimic. And a few observe and embrace.

Whatever happens, default to “This is good. Let’s get into action.” Not just the right opinion. No. Attitude and immediate action.

Back to work.

Feels good.

Meditations.

We find ourselves in a river. Which of the things around us should we value when none of them can offer a firm foothold?

Meditations 6:15.

I don’t have an answer today. I’m trudging.

The most important thing to learn is that we have so much to learn.

Jocko Willink, Discipline Equals Freedom

There are so many people in the world that know so many things that I do not know. There are so many things to learn. As a practical matter I am at noob level and will be for the rest of my life. It’s like facing a meal of 300 billion hamburgers. As a practical matter no matter how many I eat the number might as well be infinite.

So have a bit of humility. You might know a little thing here or there, a skill or insight. It means nothing. You are showing up for the first day of school every day of your life. share what you know and go learn something new.

At least I know that!

Do something hard.

Ran another 10k today. My body was telling me I was out of juice at mile 2, and my mind told me to finish it out. I did.

What’s interesting is that last night I ran and my body had all the energy in the world but my head wanted to quit because this whole running thing is stupid. My body kept going to the end and let the mind chatter.

Do whatever it takes to get it done.

I’m putting this here to remind my future self:

i. Anywhere you can lead your life, you can lead a good one.

Lives are led at court.… Then good ones can be.

Meditations 5:16.

I can live a good life even in this place: a city and state festooned with politicians hell-bent on short-sighted, self-enriching adventures.

Will I vote with my feet? Perhaps. We have already made scouting trips for that purpose.

All of that is fine. Move to a different place to seek something finer. But do not leave this place and live elsewhere in the vain belief that you can escape self-aggrandizing buffoons and corruption amongst the politicians. These characteristics are some of the defining elements of what causes a person to seek political office.

Not all, but enough of them. And the higher the office, it seems, the more likely you are to find a bullshit person. There is a reason why we praise a Ghandi, a Mandela, a Lincoln. They are exceedingly rare. And flawed, as are we all. Even Marcus Aurelius.

Clearly there is some problem in my soul that needs to be worked out. So much bile! This is why I write: to reveal self to self. Something to work on.

And one more thing. When you move to a different town, a different state? You take yourself with you.

Just a thought that’s trying to grow in my head.

The idea is that life doesn’t end until you’re dead. Some things are extremely difficult to accomplish, but on the far side of those things you will find knowledge and understanding that would be impossible without having experienced the difficulties.

Especially use this idea with voluntary difficulty. Running. What’s on the far side of getting up and running 10K every day? That’s difficult for me at the moment, though I’m doing it.