I write stuff here as a journal, yet I never go back and read what I wrote. Same same business website: I hate looking at it. Same same life: I ignore the past utterly. I only look forward; occasionally I am present in the now.
Why?
When I’m working I can be at or beyond my current limits of skill and ability.
That’s stressful. It could be a happy stress or a fearful stress.
Or I can be operating below current limits of skill and capacity.
That’s not stressful. That’s effortless. Calm.
If I operate at or above current capabilities, I grow. I am learning something new. I’m getting stronger. So it’s good to be there. It’s fun and invigorating to learn something new, to develop a new capability.
The stress comes from external factors. What are the stakes? Is someone relying on me to get them out of a jam? Am I imposing arbitrary expectations on myself, for example to develop mastery in a new field in an impossibly short time?
I’m going to aim for awareness in selecting projects to work on. Try to operate below my limits at all times when advising people. Expand my limits by writing and learning. Then backfill into those limits by doing projects.
“Every high civilization decays by forgetting obvious things.”
G.K. Chesterton
Yeah, this applies the culture and America and all that. The propaganda is obvious and it is subtle. But it is pervasive and it erases all that came before — good and ill.
Let’s talk about me, an individual human gliding inexorably towards infinity.
Every man decays by forgetting obvious things.
Don’t forget the obvious.
First, biological. Sleep. Rest. Eat. Exercise.
Second, spiritual. Who am I? As above, so below. That is where I am, in relation to time, matter, and God. At once ephemeral and the center of the universe.
Third, social. What is true and has been since the beginning of the universe? Family. Friendship. Loyalty, honor. These are true today — as true as they were 2,000 years ago. Live that way.
Maybe one place to look is how I talk to myself.
“What do you want to do?”
Is the answer an action? Ask why.
Is the answer a result? That’s not really answering the question, is it?
Why am I going to work? Because I want money. Interesting question and answer.
What do you want to do? Get breakfast. Good.
What do you want to do? Not be hungry. Not so good. Ask why.
Nothing happens without an action. Look for actions. Predict consequences.
Because when you look for actions you will have an interesting experience. Why do you think this action is going to make that result? And why did you pick that action? I think a lot of the time it will be conditioning and “truth” you were handed and accepted without examination.
The part of me that I most hate and fear to inhabit has the information I need.
. . . what we cannot do for ourselves.
In a fit of ego I wanted to enable stats here after not caring and not watching.
Couldn’t make Jetpack work. Can’t be bothered with trying anything else.
If I can’t run this site from my phone it’s not going to happen.
UI failure and personal laziness = no stats for this website.
Result? Ego successfully not inflated (or deflated).
Next action? Carry on with life. Continue using this as a journal or notebook.
Sometimes God uses mysterious methods, like inspiring seemingly inscrutable, poorly-considered decisions by software engineers and business owners.
I’m looking at you, Automattic. You’re doing the Lord’s work. Even when you’re “improving” 🙃 things.
Hmmm. I probably should turn that judgmental microscope around and look at myself for a minute. Maybe I’m just trying to push the door open when the sign says pull.
And I know one thing I can do: get into my passwords and clean up the litter of WordPress-related credentials. Website logins, WordPress.com usernames (why?), logins to the servers on which the sites are/were installed.
Much of the house is empty. Everything has been moved out so the wood floors can be refinished.
I am unsettled and invigorated by the sight of an empty house. Unsettled because the familiar is gone (temporarily). Invigorated because JFC we have so much clutter and bullshit and crap. I’d love to get rid of 90% of everything. My powers, however, are limited. But at least for a little while I can live free of the packrat lifestyle.
And I’m alone in the house (well, the dog is here too — and I think she’s a bit concerned about what happened today). A quiet, empty house.
At work — I have have a three year plan. That’s how much longer the lease has to run. At the end of three years I want the entire suite empty. Everything gone. I walk out with whatever is in my backpack.
Long ago I had a dream — to work out my phone and my head.
I’m getting there with work.
Let’s see what I can do about the house.
Life is woo only, all the time.
“sometimes the most ambitious move is to be the least ostentatiously ambitious one in the room, but the one most optimized for survival + long game. then you watch as one by one each of your competitors crumble, burn out, give up, quit, and you’re casually the last one standing”
@visakanv again on Twitter
Twitter wisdom. That sounds like a dig but in this case it’s not. (Social media is The Shallows but depth can be found with care, blocking, and filtering).
Actually deeply wise.
The comment sounds like it is all about flexing because you’re the last man standing.
Nope.
What happens in “the room” is irrelevant to you. are they going to live your life? Are they going to raise your children?
No. This is wise because you survival is the only thing that matters.
You don’t care one way or another about competitors. The universe is immense and generous and more to the point malleable and infinitely flexible and expandable so why worry about competitors?
Said as someone who has fucked things up for decades but survived the fuckups and stayed consistent in plodding in the direction I desire.
And still I plod forward.
one of my beliefs that I haven’t articulated clearly yet: I think the irresistability of a great ask is almost independent of the asker and the asked.
a truly fantastic ask is something that the universe itself seems compelled to honor
a fantastic ask is not the same as a dramatic gesture, which can be imposing. a dramatic gesture is like, sending them 10 pages of DMs. it’s intimidating, overwhelming, selfish, unfair.
a fantastic ask is small but perfect, like a haiku you hear once and remember forever
@visakanv on Twitter, November 1, 2021
My personal, lived experience is that the universe delivers when specific requests/intentions are stated out loud. It has happened to me. And it will again.
Interesting wrinkle, dawning on me as a result of reading this thread: the universe delivers through people.
An ask uttered to the universe at large is useful. An ask uttered to a person is essential.
Ask well. Honor the universe and the people around you by asking well — and answering well when receiving a well-stated, crisp, well-intentioned request.
Can people be taught to ask well? Some, perhaps. A few. I rarely see people who examine and refine their thinking. Should I, in response to a poorly-formed ask, respond first with the fundamentals?
Life lesson here: everything is woo. Everything is work on one’s spiritual progress. Note I say progress: there is no spiritual attainment.
When looked at that way, the indicated action is easy. An ask, poorly-formed or not, comes from a place of spiritual development. Aim for that part of the person. Help that way. “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God” etc etc.
But don’t take that as a license to be a pompous asshole, and don’t forget that in addition to spiritual needs people sometimes just need a hamburger.
But. For yourself, for myself I should say — ask. I don’t ask frequently enough.