Author: Reality Laughs

Random memory of B saying that.

Paradoxically by being there for his own benefit he helped countless others.

And that was his point. He was there for himself, to help his own predicament, and the only way to help himself escape his own predicament was to be helpful to the community around him.

It’s like D telling me one day that he did this thing (birthday cards for people) because he realized he was so self-centered and selfish and didn’t care what happened to people around him. And it hurt; he did not want to be that kind of man. So he just started sending people birthday cards. Then, one day he discovered that he genuinely cared about the people around him.

Wow. The people I have known who helped me in small ways and great. Both D and B have been dead for a long time. Yet they did small things and said small things that are still alive in me, making my life better (when I remember them and what they said). I’m a bit weepy right now.

That’s a good thing.

I just started working on a new skill via a paid course of instruction. It is evident that the information provided is valuable and delivered by someone who is smarter than me. Intellectual prowess, knowledge, and experience. All of it.

It’s not hard to tell that this is the case. Non-BS reveals itself fairly quickly. BS can hide for a while.

That’s an interesting barometer. The longer I am uncertain as to whether I’m dealing with a bullshit operator or the real deal, the more likely I am to be dealing with a bullshit operator. Bearing in mind of course that I may be so stupid that I can’t tell the difference between bullshit and non-bullshit. But even then, I will get smart enough eventually to discard bullshit.

Back to how I react to smart, non-bullshit people.

The reality laughs lesson here for me is that I am grateful to this man for having learned so many hard concepts, learning so many hard real-life lessons, then distilling the knowledge so I can use it. It is really the first time in my life where I have not wanted to immediately be as smart as him. That’s my MO. You know quantum physics? Let me study independently and rival you even though you spent 20 years of your life doing it. I will catch up in three days. Not this time.

I’m finally becoming a grownup. I’m learning humility. I’ve finally started to really see what I was told a long time ago. You can’t subtract from my life. You can only add to it.

If the second-most important thing distracts you from the most important thing, delete it.

Edit (later): I don’t know what my most important thing is. At work, I mean. In life I do.

This is interesting.

When I am ok then I write less here.

And right now I’m ok.

So I want to be sure to write this down to remind myself that I’m ok. I’m always ok. I just don’t always believe it.

Why am I ok? Reading. Marcus Aurelius at the moment. I can’t read Seneca in the morning for some reason. But Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius are easy.

Relentless, by the way, has fallen dead on its second read-through. I have no appetite for it. It’s sort of like a one-note song, though I know that there can be subtle nuances in monotony. I’ll get back to it. Or not.

In the meantime, Gary Vaynerchuk videos are passing the message along. No expectations. Just give. Work really hard for a long time. All good stuff.

I can only hope that my kids have a great relationship with me in the same way he seems to have a great relationship with his parents. If he has what he appears to have, Gary Vaynerchuk has wealth beyond measure.

So the outside reminders come, but from another path.

The first step to being smart is “stop being stupid.” Just stop doing dumb shit and you’re likely to have a better life.

I just hired a guy to help me do a thing. The reason I hired him is because he announced “I do this and you can hire me to help you.”

In talking to him I learned how he had learned the skill he is selling me. He had arbitrarily picked up the phone and purchased one-on-one consulting from people who were not selling consulting, but were self-evidently killing it with this specific skill.

It never occurred to me to do that.

Today I learned a new life skill. Go to the best, and ask if they will help. Overpay if necessary.

The reality laughs part of this story is that the help I seek is omnipresent. It’s me and my hidden assumptions and life operating principles that stops the help from arriving at my doorstep.

Is a thin line.

Let them be. They will reveal themselves.

If I’m stuck and I’m putting a huge amount of effort into once place, the answer is not to put more effort there.

Take away effort there. Put attention somewhere else.

You have goals, ambitions, desires. The future you is x, y, and z. These are so far from who you are today.

You can think like the future you today.

You can act like the future you today.

Even if you aren’t the pinnacle of fitness (yet) you can think and behave today like the future you will behave when you are the pinnacle of fitness.

This just worked for me a few minutes ago. Instead of swinging through the drive-thorough at Del Taco, here I am at home with some better food from the refrigerator.

Even if you don’t have the million-dollar bank account (yet) you can think and behave like the future you who has $1,000,000 in the bank.

And the $1,000,000 will follow.

Even if you lack peace of mind, or focus, or discipline (now) you can think and behave the way your future disciplined self will think and behave.

Avatar me.