There is always an other side. I forget this. The internet taught me the lesson again. Because of our recent visitors I watched a bunch of things on YouTube about van life etc. Let me tell you, it’s all glamour.
But then, a search for the equivalent of one star reviews. A search with “hate van life” or variants turns up the day to day reality. Not bad stuff, just reality.
Reality is as you would expect. Where do I poop if I don’t have a facility in my van? Keeping things clean. Stuff breaks. All the normal day that happens to everyone all the time. Friction. The sheer drudgery of life is not eliminated even when you look like you are living a highlight reel.
The interesting perspectives were the psychological ones. Some talked about the lack of rootedness. Yes you make friends but it’s not the same. I experienced that in NZ. A couple talked about the way that having a YouTube channel became the most important factor organizing their lives.
They suddenly are not free despite presenting us with a view of a lifestyle of freedom. The need to pump out content for the channel affects what they do, when they do it, etc.
Nothing wrong with that. It’s just that I watched the videos and wanted to live the carefully curated dream.
No. Life is the whole package. There is another side to the coin. Always. Take the coin. But don’t pretend you can take pieces of the coin. It doesn’t work that way.
In fact, an afterthought. Maybe go after life taking the friction part, the so-called bad stuff. If you accept that as part of the normal, the expected, then the highlight reel will be that much better.
Bad example but it’s the only one I can think of right now: getting married and having kids. That’s a package sold with a highlight reel. And yet the sheer slog of decades of marriage and raising kids to adulthood is missed by those of us who buy the package, despite being visible. I only dimly perceived it, and jumped into the game willingly but semi-blindly.
My experience is that the payoff of marriage and fatherhood has been beyond the advertised benefits in the highlight reel.
Maybe the YouTube folks are getting that, too. Maybe (for some of them) there is a payoff that can only be earned by going through the slog.
Anyway. Other side of the coin. Take the whole package. Don’t be dazzled by the benefits, and don’t be fearful of the friction. The payoff is in experiencing both.