So accordingly, whenever we’re impeded, disturbed, or distressed, we should never blame anyone else, but only ourselves, that is to say, our judgements.
Epictetus, Handbook, 5.
My normal process is to be distressed or impeded because something didn’t work right. Out of my control and I am unhappy about it.
Unhappiness? Why? There must be a reason. I then find fault with my actions. Usually that means “You didn’t work hard enough.”
That doubles the unhappiness.
The Stoics tell me that the unhappiness is within my control. The external events about which I am unhappy, not in my control. Traffic is heavy and I go slower than I desire? That’s an “out of my control” problem.
The unhappiness about my actions? That’s something to look at. Am I really unhappy about my actions? Or the outcomes of the actions? Or am I just unhappy about anything I do, as a general operating principle?