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Fear and courage

Pay attention to what your brain blurts out, especially when it’s startling. It might be trying to tell you something.

In a convo on Slack with CJ yesterday I blurted out (no filters) what I thought would be my amazing goal. (It’s written in a text file on my computer, named extreme.txt). And followed up with saying I doubt my ability to achieve that.

It’s good in this way because CJ shares similar objectives for himself. And falls short, like me. And flogs himself for it, like me.

Then I said in order to achieve that I would need to do a severely radical action — clear the decks in a major way.

And I said I was afraid to do this.

My brain told me truth. What I truly want. (Extreme.txt). What I need to get there. (Extreme clear the decks). And why I’m not getting there. (Fear).

I’m going to let these thoughts bake in the oven for a little while. Do I really want extreme.txt? Or is it ego/ambition/etc.?

Because if it’s real . . . what the fuck am I doing? YOLO.