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God is with me now

God is with me now.

Thinking this morning of the two cosmic moments I have experienced — stone cold sober, walking around.

Remembering the one in which I was not, in fact, sober—decades before.

What a difference.

The “not” — me as observer, separate. Everything else as small, distant, angular, mechanical and infinite. Receding from view.

The two walking-around moments—enveloped in all that is, simultaneously insignificant and essential, powerless and in control, empathetic and detached.

Here and gone within a couple of seconds, and I remember the feeling of the moment dissipating, with resigned sadness. Of course I cannot live in that moment forever. (Or can I?)

I wonder if I will ever have another moment like that?

Interesting that both moments came while walking. Both on random urban sidewalks. Both in the midst of deep immersion into esoteric matters—primarily Fourth Way, and New Thought authors like Emmet Fox. Esoteric Christianity, basically. And deep in the program, of course.

Cosmic connection through chemical assistance? Limited and limiting. Seek light the slow way.