Write for five minute. That is the task I have set for myself. What about? Don’t know and don’t care. The objective was write five minutes every day and publish publicly every day. For a while the “publish” part was Twitter but I’ve nuked the app from my phone as being net negative. So now publishing is here.
I don’t want to write about what I really want to write about because this is a public-facing site. And I need to get the noise out of my head.
And what I really want to write is that I’m sad.
And I’m making excuses for it: jet lagged, recovering from a sinus infection, all externals. Otherwise everything is fine, right? Well, maybe not. Stiff upper lip and all that. I’m sad, feeling inadequate and unskilled, and unclear how to feel otherwise.
One thing I know from experience: it’s bad news to be thinking and talking to myself using “always” and “never.” Doomsday mentality. Better to get small. Do an actual thing instead of think. A small thing.
I have been awake since 3 am. Get up and get some breakfast.