I just got bonked on the head with a reframe.
I have been viewing my business life as “providing value.” This is not a bad frame, and it is a common one. Price vs value. People buy value, pay price. Etc.
The reframe is to ask whether I am being useful to others. This moves me from the subjective universe (basing decisions on someone else’s subjective experience) to a more objective universe (basing decisions on whether there is a demonstrable utility to my action).
The person I am helping will still have a subjective experience. That’s out of my control and it is idiosyncratic to the particular person. Better: I can make my decisions based on being objectively useful to people and let the subjective chips fall where they may.
This will banish angst and uncertainty. My results and happiness in business (and life) are not dependent on someone else’s subjective experience. I just strive to be useful in whatever way I can.