I just had a conversation with someone about a decision made a few months ago. I was present for the decision made, and now I hear that the decision was wrong.
Never mind that the option rejected then was rejected because it was financially out of bounds. (Buying a vehicle with or without 4×4. “Without” won because of cost.)
Now it’s a bad decision because of transitory events. And by transitory I mean “gone in half a day” weather conditions where 4×4 might or might not be useful.
Self-recrimination is easy to see in others and how they process memories of past decisions. It’s not always easy to see in myself.
Self-recrimination is poison.
Make a decision. Don’t look back. If you need to make a new decision later, make it then. New circumstances, new facts — these can mean a different course of action.
I’ve always loved saying, when making a hard decision, “We will drive off that bridge when we get to it.” It conveys the doom feeling that I get when I’m afraid I made a bad choice, and the blithe, oblivious cheeriness of just getting on with it.
Because in reality our decisions almost never result in driving off the bridge, metaphorically speaking. It is a false fear that holds us back. It is a false fear that leads us to bitter memories of the past and the “if only . . . “ self-flogging that I, at least, am prone to.