Month: May 2021

I have deliberately chosen a hard path for 75 days: the 75 Hard challenge, suggested by my daughter.

Most of the things on the list are things I’m doing now. The difference is the rigor imposed by having a binary question to ask myself.

Did I or did I not drink a gallon of water today? (Previous aim: “drink a lot”).

Did I read 10 pages of a nonfiction book? (Previous aim: read every morning, which I am doing with the Stoics).

Binary is truth.

One target is a bit daunting: two forty-five minute workouts a day. I am on a three day a week gym schedule (Starting Strength) so this is a big change to life.

But really. What’s important to me? Physical health or . . . what? Given a “pick A or B” when A is physical health, there is no universe in which B is a good idea. (A few hypothetical situations to the contrary — like the soldier who jumps on a grenade to save his buddies. That’s not my life and those are not, realistically, going to be presented to me.)

Another is daunting in a different way: take a picture of yourself daily. I hate taking pictures of myself. When I see a picture of myself my reaction is not healthy: that person a stranger to me, and not physically appealing. I do not accept or like my physical appearance.

I had a casual convo with the neighbors yesterday. A casual comment about inertia went by. The inertia of having children, a mortgage, etc. Baggage.

I feel this intensely. I want to move to a different place. No forward momentum after a brief trip to Texas.

(Why do I want to move? Ask yourself this!)

I try to do different things with my business. Inertia holds me back.

(Why do I want to do different things? Ask yourself this?)

The house is full of clutter and bullshit. Something holds me back from a wholesale disposal-fest.

(Well, at least I know the answer to this. The items in the house over which I have sole control are vanishingly small. I have to consider the feelings of others when deciding whether to trash this or that.)

(But there is an answer to this, too.)

49a. It’s unfortunate that this has happened.

No. It’s fortunate that this has happened and I’ve remained unharmed by it—not shattered by the present or frightened of the future. It could have happened to anyone. But not everyone could have remained unharmed by it. Why treat the one as a misfortune rather than the other as fortunate? Can you really call something a misfortune that doesn’t violate human nature? Or do you think something that’s not against nature’s will can violate it? But you know what its will is. Does what’s happened keep you from acting with justice, generosity, self-control, sanity, prudence, honesty, humility, straightforwardness, and all the other qualities that allow a person’s nature to fulfill itself?

So remember this principle when something threatens to cause you pain: the thing itself was no misfortune at all; to endure it and prevail is great good fortune.

Meditations 4:49a

I’m living this right now with my Interesting Event. I won’t give details on the event because it is in mid-stream.

But! The Interesting Event is not taking me to hell.

Jordan Peterson says he as 3 or 4 productive hours in a day. The rest is just preparation to clear the deck for those hours.

It is exceedingly difficult to find truth. Truth can be obvious, but is usually elusive and required persistence. It’s a needle in a haystack of bullshit.

Easier: perceive and discard lies. Bullshit usually stinks. Truth gleams brightly in the light. Use your sense of smell to reject bullshit.

Especially watch for bullshit artists. Trees and fruit. By their fruit shall you know them.

Bullshit artists are a never ending fountain of more and more lies. Get rid of the source.

Like attracts like.

Or, another way to look at it: don’t be dumb. Don’t be clever, just don’t be stupid.

Don’t seek your passion. Stop doing things you hate instead.

And if you can’t figure it out, be agnostic.

If you wish to make progress, lay aside your alibis.

Epictetus, Handbook (Sam Torode’s version), 12

Mostly, “I am upset because X.” Whatever X is.

X didn’t make you upset. You did that to yourself.

Acceptance. Determination. These are the filters that keep me on The Path.

Lameness may strike your leg, but not your resolve. Sickness may weaken your body, but not your determination—unless you let it. The only thing that can impede your will is your will itself.

Each time an obstacle arises, remind yourself of this truth. While it may hinder some part of you, it cannot constrain your true self.

Epictetus, Handbook (Sam Torode adaptation), 9

Life is hand-to-hand combat with self.

Awakened at 4:50 pm by a troublesome dream and my bladder, I let the dog out and make coffee.

It is Saturday. There are obstacles, if you want to call them that. The 10,000 tasks.

Restrained by 10,000 strands, each of which alone is trivial. But collectively? Daunting.

It’s easy to hesitate, defeated by their sight. Or worse yet, I imagine that there are 10,000 (in reality there might be 50 or 100) and I create my own despair by my own self-created illusion.

Determination. Willpower.

Just do.

The burden I perceive does not exist.

I’m going through an 8/10 stress event at work. It has been going for about a week.

I don’t know how it will turn out: total black pill is what is most probable, I think, but . . . .

I’m calm.

I am tired and there is oh so much to do, so many decisions to make, so much unexpected expense. I’m calm.

The Stoic philosophy is powerful. I know what’s in my control and what isn’t. I know that action is essential. I know to run straight at the problem, without hesitation.

And I know that the situation is not of my making and the resolution will be what it will be. Yet the actions I take will determine the resolution.

This didn’t come from the Stoics alone. They are just the latest of my teachers.

The hardest part of this? Fatigue. So many thoughts in my head. Data, assumptions, if/then calculations for actions I could take. It’s exhausting.

But emotions? I’m good. I have equilibrium.