Stop looking at life as an achievement exercise.
There is no goal. No achievement. No “we’re done”. no finish line
Life never done. It’s present or absent. And until life is absent, it’s Go Time.
Go.
And as you go, flow. Every bump in the road is normal. Every event is an opportunity to absorb and adapt. Soon enough (sometimes minutes!) you won’t care about the bump and will be on to the next thing. That’s good!
How did I miss this piece from Epictetus? Bob used to say that the present is primetime. Now is when your actions happen, and now is when results happen.
51.1. How much longer will you delay before you think yourself worthy of what is best, and transgress in nothing the distinctions that reason imposes? You’ve acquired knowledge of the philosophical principles that you ought to accept, and have accepted them. What kind of teacher, then, are you still waiting for, that you should delay any effort to reform yourself until he appears? You’re no longer a youth; you’re a full-grown man. If you’re now negligent and idle, and are constantly making one delay after another, and setting one day and then another as the date after which you’ll devote proper attention to yourself, then you’ll fail to appreciate that you’re making no progress, but will continue to be a layman your whole life through until you die.
2. So you should think fit from this moment to live as an adult and as one who is making progress; and let everything that seems best to you be an inviolable law for you. And if you come up against anything that requires an effort, or is pleasant, or is glorious or inglorious, remember that this is the time of the contest, that the Olympic Games have now arrived, and that there is no possibility of further delay, and that it depends on a single day and single action whether progress is to be lost or secured.
3. It was in this way that Socrates became the man he was, by attending to nothing other than reason in everything that he had to deal with. And even if you’re not yet a Socrates, you ought to live like someone who does in fact wish to be a Socrates.
Handbook, 51. Emphasis added.
If you put this with the little piece I read from Marcus Aurelius today, it all makes sense. Slow down. Do one thing. So the vital thing.
“ If you seek tranquillity, do less.” Or (more accurately) do what’s essential—what the logos of a social being requires, and in the requisite way. Which brings a double satisfaction: to do less, better.
Because most of what we say and do is not essential. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time, and more tranquillity. Ask yourself at every moment, “Is this necessary?”
But we need to eliminate unnecessary assumptions as well. To eliminate the unnecessary actions that follow.
Meditations, x:24
The condition and character of a layman is this: that he never expects that benefit or harm will come to him from himself, but only from externals. The condition and character of a philosopher is this: that he expects all benefit and harm to come to him from himself.
Handbook, 48.1
Reminder to self, from Epictetus:
Sheep do not spit out grass to show the farmer how much they’ve eaten—they ruminate on it, digest it, then display the results in wool and milk. In the same way, do not spew your undigested thoughts; show their results in action.
The Manual: A Philosophers Guide to Life, by Sam Torode, ch. 46
That’s an accessible rewrite of The Enchiridion that I found. Sometimes it’s good to read the same stuff from a different person’s view.
For contrast, here is the other translation I have on my phone:
For sheep, too, don’t vomit up their fodder to show the shepherds how much they’ve eaten, but digest their food inside them, and produce wool and milk on the outside. And so you likewise shouldn’t show off your principles to laymen, but rather show them the actions that result from those principles when they’ve been properly digested.
Handbook, 46.1
Anyway, that gave my ego a little jab today when I read it. I am too eager to show everyone how fabulous I am in some way or another, seeking praise.
Shut the fuck up. Do what you’re supposed to do. Listen intently. Own your own life, and remember that the praise of others means nothing in the long run. And the short run, too, for that matter.
I had an experience yesterday, just one of those quiet moments when insights rush in and a gong goes off in your head. After running an errand I parked a little bit up the street because the neighbors on the east side of our house were having a birthday party for their young son.
As I was walking down the sidewalk to the house, there was a small car with a young couple in it, parked at the curb in front of the neighbor’s house on the west side of our house. It has a for sale sign up, and the two in the car were looking at the house, talking, and writing things down.
Flashback. Twenty-five years ago, that couple was us: driving around in a shitty little Honda Civic, renters dreaming of owning a house, not knowing how we were going to do it.
The moment was blindingly poignant because we were that couple, looking at that very house 25 years ago, and we bought it. Our first house. It all started in that little house.
Kids. Life. Everything.
A quarter-century on this block.
What does that have to do with Epictetus? Nothing, I suppose, except that in fact we quietly kept our heads down and have done The Work. The work of inner development. The work of parenting to the best of our ability.
As much as I rag on myself for being a loser (when will this inner dialog stop?) we have grown to solid and reliable human beings. Epictetus might recognize some progress.
As long as I’m on The Path I am content. I’m where I should be.
Just a reminder, though: no bragging about how spiritually (!) or intellectually (!) evolved you are. You as far from the horizon today as you were last year or last century. No bragging about your running. (That’s the trivial and obvious way in which I see the ego popping up).
Just, as they say, shut up and . . .
Get after it.
Get some.
Don’t use your time and energy to self-motivate in order to do what needs to be done. Just do it. The doing will create its own motivation.
And shitcan the braggy stuff.
After 17 days of 10k runs in a row I stopped. Or was stopped, I should say, by a sinus infection.
Who knows whether there is causation, but there definitely is correlation.
I feel better now after four days of very early bedtimes and lots of sleep, and will run starting tomorrow.
The running frankly gave me bragging rights that I took advantage of. That’s not good. That’s ego.
The 10k daily routine is something that I wouldn’t mind staying at. But now it’s time to be a bit more sane. Other people are deliberate about their exercise routines. I should be, too.
Rather than look at this as a failure I see this as finding a productive fault line. Time to adjust.
One other interesting correlation: a foul mood. I stopped reading in the morning, stopped writing my thoughts here, and was generally pissy. I can’t wait to get moving again tomorrow.
So just do it.
I wrote long term goals at the end of the 2020. And the trend lines look good at the end of February 2021.
Weight: six pounds down in two months. Financial goals are trending in the right direction, though the stock market noise will sometimes hide the progress. Take the long view.
More important than that: I actually have written long term goals.
What is unexamined never changes.
OODA loop starting today: on the business. I’m guilty of magical thinking and winning by brute force.
Let’s watch cash flow cycles and make some changes.
When I give myself a reason to not do something or do something, just be careful. It’s probably a lie to myself.
“It’s ok to stop running 10K every day, because my feet are sore.”
It’s a reason.
Lie. I’m lying to myself.
The conclusion does not follow from the premise.
It’s the old saying in a different disguise, isn’t it? “There are no explanations, only excuses.”
Explanations are explanations. They are obvious: a teacher explains calculus or (my situation right now) the principles of symbolic logic.
“Reasons” are not always so obvious, except they seem to seek the entropy of comfort. Less physical effort, satiating a desire, a psychological pat on the back, administered by self, for why it’s ok that my efforts failed. Those are reasons conjured up within my own head. Don’t get me started on the reasons I give myself for failure (or never trying at all) that are outside my control.
No reasons. No lies.
Don’t downplay yourself here. Since you started running seriously you have stuck to it: blisters, bloody toenails from bad shoes, full belly from dinner with the family, “it’s late”, fatigue, boredom, cold, bloody knees from crashing in the dark on a rough sidewalk. None of these “reasons” stopped you.
That’s good stuff. Keep it up.