Month: November 2020

Looking at my posts here is a bit weird. I see myself as someone who writes well and explains things simply.

Not so much.

It’s time to get simple.

I found myself wrestling with WordPress again. Why would a new site on shared hosting not allow me to upload a blog post from the WordPress app on my phone or iPad?

Realization. There I go again.

Trouble ticket submitted. “Please cancel and refund.”

In the olden days, I would wrestle and conquer. Now I’d rather go to bed. I surrender. The machines win again.

Solve it with money. I will keep writing content and buy hosting that costs more than $1.50/month.

Looking back at the whole thing, buying cheap may have been my problem.

In my control, not in my control. Know the difference.

A thing attracts or repels you. This force may be subtle or visible, but it exists.

This thought came to mind considering my back yard. It repels me. I don’t like being outside in my yard. Reasons? The dog shit, the hedges and bushes are overgrown, the garden furniture is covered with dust. Stuff like that.

And what am I doing? Complaining in my head about the dog, instead of picking up the shit. Complaining about the gardener, instead of doing something about it.

Is it any wonder that you are repelled? You are not repelled by the back yard. You are repelled by your own actions.

In my control, not in my control. Know the difference. And use this as a way to find the source of my discomfort.

In my control, my opinion of the hedges. In my control, a request to the gardener to trim them. Or do it myself. Out of my control, what the gardener does.

In my control, pick up the dog shit. Out of my control, the fact that we have a dog, the fact that dogs do, in fact, shit.

Epictetus:

One should know that it isn’t easy for a person to arrive at a firm judgement unless, day after day, he states and hears the same principles, and at the same time applies them to his life.

Epictetus, Fragments, 16

Read the same books, or at least read about the same ideas. Keep reading. The author subtly rewrote your favorite book since you last read it, so why don’t you see what the book says now?

Talk about these principles with others. (But don’t be a boring monomaniac about it, because that has its own dangers). The easiest way to do this is what you’re doing right now. Write.

Apply these simple principles in your life, daily. The easiest way to do this, today, is to talk to God. If you find yourself in rehearsal about some past event that you wish turned out differently, or maybe some future event where you imagine you can create a result, stop. Wake up. Turn immediately and talk to God instead of yourself.

“He was wrong and I told him so” is a recipe for pain. The rehearsal of events that didn’t happen (and probably will never happen) is where I do this the most. I’m imagining a future where someone is wrong and I can demonstrate how spiritually advanced I am when I correct that person’s error.

That’s at least four mistakes I make: living in the “when and then“, feeling that it is my job in the universe to correct someone, imagining that my correction is necessary to that person’s life, imagining that I am right about the topic (maybe I’m not that spiritually advanced!), and finally that this whole event, whether imaginary or God forbid it actually happens, is good for me. I know for sure that the imaginary event, in its moment, is poisonous for me.

When I’m doing this, snap awake and say “sorry, God, but I was off on some fantasy, but now I’m back”.

Maybe this is one of the meanings of The Prodigal Son.

I want to expand a project on the web, and suddenly I find I have spent three hours messing around with WordPress.

Stop.

I am a slow learner but I am a learner. I do less of this than I used to. That’s progress.

My job? Write, organize my thoughts. I have a story to tell. Do that.

Someone else can build the platform.

When people analyze and critique stuff, what they say is far more informational about them than the things they are talking about. Did you say something about a politician or a book? You are telling me about yourself.

That is something I have been aware of for a while, thanks to Paul Portesi. But it was always an outward-looking tool, not an introspective tool.

It’s time to watch what I say when I analyze and critique stuff. What does my commentary say about me?

My commentary can by definition say nothing about external things because it’s out of my control. My commentary shines a light on my thinking and opinions, and reveals what I am doing with the things under my control.

Being able to see myself in action is the truly useful information.

The Internet brought me this blog post. “What To Do When You Feel Inadequate” is a title that speaks to everyone, I will assert with confidence.

His first point? “Everything I’m good at I used to not be good at”.

Remember that.

From a conversation with someone.

Her father grew up in the Depression. Got a Stanford degree and went straight to the Army Air Force in World War II.

Her insight: in those days, everyone worked hard, and few went to college. Fewer still went to top-tier schools. He father was a hard man, from life experience. (Bomber pilot, shot down three times. Poor family in the Depression.)

Every man in his generation was a hard man. Worked hard. Didn’t quit. A Stanford degree meant something in that environment.

Now, everyone goes to college. A top-tier degree means nothing. And hard work, hard men? Rare. I am included in the cohort of people who have overvalued a degree from the “right” schools. Fortunately, I have learned through personal misfortune the importance of hard work. Iam not, but I aspire to be, a hard man.

Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.

G. Michael Hopf, Those Who Remain (The New World #7)

Show me what you have done. Not what happened in your general neighborhood while you were standing around. Not a pretty piece of paper with your name on it. “I done this. I done good.” Show me that.

A postscript about fortune. My own personal misfortunes came from my own actions. I count these events to be of supreme value.

What doesn’t kill you will, if you learn the lessons, make you stronger. If you don’t learn the lessons, you will be a whiny victim for the rest of your life. Don’t do that.

I have the Kindle app on my phone. My library has good books in it. Epictetus, Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, others.

The WordPress app is on my phone, too.

“The first thing to go is the reading” is something I was told early on. Maintaining a sound outlook requires daily maintenance, and reading daily is one of those maintenance steps. Skip the reading and you’re headed to hell. (Heaven and hell are states of mind.)

Self-remembering is the other thing needed to keep your mind on track. Look at it any way you want. The Fourth Way people have one way of describing the effort you take to awaken from your zombie slumber. Prayer is another word that can describe this effort to get out of your own brain to a higher level.

Writing these little things is a way for me, in the moment, to connect with something higher.

For that, my phone is a tool for healing and advancement. Imagine that I have access to ancient wisdom while waiting in line at the supermarket. What a blessing.

But the browser, the social media access, etc. available to me on the phone? Straight to hell. That’s why I have Freedom.to on my phone constantly. It’s like a safety on a gun.