Month: October 2020

I know I keep saying “All the good things in life happened because I met a stranger.” Marriage, new friends, new books, new ideas. All of that and more.

There is a corollary.

All the good stuff hasn’t happened yet. The good stuff will happen because I do something new, something that I hadn’t done before. (Well, yes, the good stuff could also happen because I do the same thing for the 1,542nd time, at which point the payoff occurs.)

The principle is to keep an open mind and don’t be a scared or lazy son of a bitch. Open mind because you can’t know the payoff until you have the experience. You can’t know the joy of talking to a new person until you talk.

Prejudging and saying “I won’t do this because it is a waste of time” creates a known payoff: stasis. Maybe you’re right. Equally possible? You’re wrong.

“Yeah, maybe. What the hell. Let’s give it a shot.”

Do lots of that.

On the other hand, when do you go for the gusto?

Edit: the universe solved the problem for me. Also I realized it wasn’t mine to have, and never was. I just thought it was mine to have.

If you wish to make progress, lay aside your alibis.

Sam Torode’s “The Manual“ (Enchiridion), Chapter 12

Epictetus is talking about lying to yourself.

Let’s say your car breaks down. You say “it happened because the car is yellow.” Or, “it’s running just fine” when quite evidently there may be a lurking issue. How will you properly respond to the event? Or learn from it?

Today’s skirmish was a victory.

After a good-sized lunch I successfully resisted the frozen yogurt/ice cream/other sweet item temptation and walked.

And walked and walked. I will hit 10,000 steps again today.

My brain was noisy. I kept walking.

What did I learn? I learned about things within my control (a seemingly irresistible urge for something sugary and the purchase/consumption of same).

And I exercised control over my thoughts and actions.

Meanwhile, the thing that is outside my control (how and when my body sheds that roll of fat around my waist) did not haunt me.

Every tiny victory builds strength. Get momentum and keep it.

Start from the assumption that you’re probably wrong.

It doesn’t matter why you’re probably wrong. Lack of information is an ego-stroking reason: I’m smart, sophisticated, and as soon as I get more data I will be able to nail this decision. (This is also probably the worst place to be, because your arrogance will not let you understand that you will always have insufficient data to make a bulletproof decision).

That you’re several pistons short of a functioning engine is a bit harder to accept. Actually this is pretty good. If you’re dumb and you know it, you will make good, careful choices within your self-admitted constraints.

That you lack training is the arrogance of the midwit, the A student. Just as you can never have sufficient data, you can never have sufficient education. In fact, the education is likely to blind you to ideas or information or both.

Smart, well-educated. That’s a perilous place to be when you’re trying to decide what’s real and what to do.

Or, to be more precise: believing you are smart and well-educated, and allowing those beliefs to blind you? That is the danger zone.

It’s better to understand that you are dumb. Not in all situations. For some things you are dumber, and for others you are smarter.

It’s better to understand that you are ignorant and illiterate in some areas, and informed and educated in others.

Intelligence, education, and information are not transitive. Being well-educated in particle physics doesn’t make you an excellent salesman. Knowing all about Shakespeare doesn’t make you an expert on tort law.

The takeaway: know yourself. Know that in every field of human endeavor you are likely to be stupid, lack sufficient training, and misinformed.

That’s a good starting point for making a decision.

The whole point of Reality Laughs is that my thinking and my opinions can be wildly different from what really exists.

This assumes that there is a reality outside of me, and I think that’s a safe assumption. To say the least. 🙃

If my opinion is wildly wrong, I feel the pain when I bump up against it. “I can walk through walls!” is an exercise in positive mental attitude until I put that assertion to the test.

The bump against the wall is real. The pain is real. What does that pain do to my thinking? Do I abandon my belief in my wall-walking abilities? Better yet, do I examine the thinking processes that brought me to believe I could walk through walls?

Or do I double down? Do I find other walls to test? Bump bump bump bump. How many times do I test until I re-examine my belief? Until I question the thinking that generated that belief?

This is why it’s so important for me to not lie to myself. Because the lies I tell myself are within my control. The outside world? Not in my control.

If I present myself to the world looking like a football, the world will kick me. Not because of any Divine Agency in the world/nature/God but because of me. The wall doesn’t jump out at me when I attempt to walk through it. It’s me, my actions, driven by my beliefs, what did it.

Do not take satisfaction in possessions and achievements that are not your own. If a horse were to say, “I am handsome,” his pride may be excusable. But if you boast, “I have a handsome horse,” you are claiming merit that is not yours.

What, then, is your own? The way you live your life. When you are living in harmony with nature, you can take just satisfaction.

The Manual (Enchiridion), Epictetus, the Sam Torode rewrite, Chapter 6

Just remember that you are not your horse. Judge your own actions. Your own thoughts. Those are the only things within your control.

Everything else? Outside of your control and if you take credit for it you’re lying to yourself and others.

And ultimately it’s the lying to self that is the most harmful.

I turned off site privacy again, mostly inspired by DT. Just blog, goddamnit.

Am I blogging or is this a personal journal? Yes.